Why do people attempt suicide? A Decorah resident shares his story

(decorahnews.com continues its series of stories about suicide prevention with a letter from a Decorah resident.  For obvious reasons, all identifying information has been removed from the letter):

"Unless you have first-hand experience with suicide, it's nearly impossible to understand the root cause, the desire to act on those feelings, or the real thoughts behind why a person feels it's the only way to solve the situation.  There are a number of things that can trigger a suicide attempt, but for the most part, it boils down to an untreated or mistreated mental illness of some type.  Even if it's a spur-of-the-moment event by someone who "has never shown signs of trouble," there's something there.  They likely have shown signs, or reached out for help at some point and it was not recognized by those around them.  They themselves probably don't even understand what's going on within them until they are able to get some type of diagnosis or treatment.
 
Most of the time when someone gets to the point of a desire to commit suicide they are so desperate to escape the pain they are dealing with they feel it's the only way out.  They're not taking "the easy way out" or being "selfish" as so many people like to accuse them of.  They are simply tired of not being able to deal with the illness they're fighting, usually within themselves without a support structure of any kind, and just want peace.  Many times, they believe they're a burden on their family, or society in general and feel the world will be better off if they are gone.  The level of depression, hurt and fear that a person gets to when they're contemplating taking their own life is beyond the understanding of most people.  They can't just "snap out of it" or "get over it and move on" like the advice most people offer.  Mental illness isn't something you can just snap out of any more than cancer, or any other disease.

The thing with mental illness that is different than any other disease is the stigma that goes along with it, which prevents most people who live with it from seeking help.  No one makes fun of you for having diabetes, or whispers derogatory terms behind your back when you live with heart disease.  But when people describe you as psycho, and nuts, or throw around terms like "schitzo" and "bipolar" without having a clue what those terms actually mean, it makes it extremely difficult for someone to accept being labeled like that by a medical provider.  I'm sure very few people know there are more than 50 variations of bipolar disorder.  There are a multitude of other clinical diagnoses at different levels of severity, most of which are caused by a chemical imbalance in their brain.  It's been estimated that nearly 60 percent or more of our population lives with some type of mental illness, but only about 10 percent of those are ever diagnosed or treated.  That is terribly sad, and a big reason why we are seeing an increase in suicides as a society.  You can blame the economy, or bullying, or marital problems, or any number of things, but those are just triggers, not the real cause.

One other mistake people often make is that everyone with mental illness is automatically a danger to the general public, shouldn't have a gun, or should be locked up in an institution and throw away the key.  The extreme cases often do need a more structured treatment program, which sometimes requires some type of residential or in-patient facility.  But that doesn't mean we should just lock them up and forget about them.  One of the most important needs of a person living with a mental illness is to have a solid support structure that has been educated and understands how to help them work through things however they can.  The vast majority of people with mental illness are productive members of society, living and working in every area of life, without ever "acting out" in any way, or becoming a danger to anyone...many are not even a danger to themselves because they have a less aggressive illness that doesn't take them to the point of suicide contemplation.  Sometimes people have an occurrence that requires them to seek in-patient treatment, or a temporary medication regiment after a traumatic event in their life. 

Many times, people just need someone to talk to.  Whether it be a therapist, a psychologist or psychiatrist, a support group, or even just a family member or friend who wants to take the time to get educated and learn how to help them.  Not everyone needs to be medicated, in fact mental health care sometimes over prescribes, or misdiagnoses, which leads to a person getting the wrong medication and not getting the help they need.  This might be because the person doesn't understand or recognize the signs and symptoms of their particular illness and can't properly describe things to their doctor.  But with the help of a loved one, a better evaluation can often be made and an appropriate treatment plan can be formed.

I've rambled enough, but I would ask that anyone who wants to educate themselves so that they can speak intelligently on the topic please visit any number of sites that provide good information.  American Society for Suicide Prevention, Mental Health America, and BringChange2Mind.org are just a few of the resources available.

I'll leave you with this thought.  It's one of the best ways I've ever heard to relate the thoughts and feelings that go into a suicide attempt.  On September 11th, 2001, we all watched people jumping to their deaths from 30, 40 and even more stories above the ground.  Why would they do this?  Because they knew of the suffering they were going to endure if they stayed in that building.  They knew that even if painful, the quicker death at their impact with the ground would be much less terrifying than burning alive, or going through the agony of smoke inhalation.  Were they taking "the easy way out"?  Absolutely they were.  But the fear and terror that they were going though as they made the decision to take their own life instead of living through the suffering led them to the only option they felt they had.  This is extremely similar to what a person who considers suicide deals with, and sometimes they decide "taking the easy way out" is their only option.