Letter to the Editor about bullying from State Representative Chris Hall

(The following Letter to the Editor first appeared in the Sioux City Journal in September.  It is reprinted with the permission of State Representative Chris Hall of Sioux City):

The start of a new school year provides renewed opportunity to discuss bullying. As a lawmaker, I've found there is an occasional rush to legislate away our problems. So in this space I would like to try a different tack.

When discussed publicly, bullying is most often approached from an adult's point of view and discussed in adult terminology. We potentially see ourselves as referees and ask, "How can we correct the problem?" We look for an answer in black-and-white terms, seeking something operable.

Perhaps our approach should be different, though. Perhaps there is more to be gained by walking a mile in the shoes of a student. If we think about it, there are many parallels between our lives and perhaps some empathy can better inform the discussion.

As children we woke up early, walked (or rode) to school, and occasionally our morning started off on the wrong foot. A fight with a sibling, lack of breakfast on the table, or a bully sitting next to us in class was a big deal; but like it or not, we were expected to be at school. Not surprisingly, many of us suffer the same fate as adults. We go to work focused on a challenging meeting, we would prefer to be at home with a sick child or spouse, we spill coffee on our way out the door, or we are expected to work alongside an abrasive co-worker. Like it or not, though, we are expected to be there.

Just like adults, children can be unpleasant because of a frustrating morning or a tough night at home. This applies to bullies as well. Throughout life, I've found that poor actions toward others are often rooted in insecurity. The difference is that as adults we are expected to have the correct social skills to resolve these situations. We have honed them through years of experience and example. For young people, though, adults need to demonstrate the skills we hope for them to emulate. No one person is the shining example of fairness or good action, but adults must put effort toward providing the example if we expect children to do the same.

I've previously introduced legislation to hold parents accountable for the actions of their children. Whether that legislation moves forward is a fate undetermined; however, there may be other options. When thinking about new laws to address the issue, the conversation should include questions such as, "Can we compel students to be civil inside and out of the classroom?" Probably not. There may be some structural supports in legislation, but the silver bullet will not be in legal form. "Can we better engage parents?" Absolutely, schools and parents must be engaged earlier to better understand the steep consequences.

Tragedy after tragedy peppers the news, and though I am confident legislation can adapt to the challenges of today, I believe just as firmly that bullying must be addressed at home. The effort is two-fold. Parents have responsibility for and the opportunity to teach these skills to their children. Eventually the skills will be gained and can be expected. Guidance at home engenders confidence in children; it reinforces.

This November I will again attend the statewide bullying prevention summit. I'll have the pleasure of serving as a discussion panelist and will do so alongside a colleague, Rep. Quentin Stanerson (R-Cedar Point). Though we are from different political parties, I suspect we share a number of common goals. In fact, aside from a few partisan outliers, legislative efforts have been largely bipartisan, civil and inclusive.

We owe the issue attention because it affects children regardless of who they are and where they come from. Management coach and author Tom Peters has said, "Leaders don't create followers, they create more leaders." Every community needs more leaders so children can know what leadership looks like. These are a few starting points. We should continue the discussion and be thoughtful of the many underlying causes of bullying.

The stakes are too high for us not to do so.