The same old cliche advice doesn't work to handle problems of bullying

Bullying is caused by the need to fit in--run amok.

That's the opinion of Jodee Blanco, a nationally-known expert on bullying who visited Decorah on Tuesday to speak about bullying and harassment in schools.  Blanco's first book, "Please Stop Laughing At Me . . . One Woman's Inspirational Story," was a first-person account of having been the target of bullies from fifth grade all through her high school years.  The book inspired a movement inside the nation's schools and is referred to by many as "the anti-bullying bible."

Blanco told decorahnews.com that many of our assumptions about bullying are not correct.  For instance, it does not work for the target of bullying to "just ignore it."  Blanco says the targets of bullying are "old souls" who have problems connecting with their peers because they are sensitive, thoughtful and usually intellectually talented.  While such kids are great interacting with adults, they tend to have "an invisible force field" preventing them from fitting in with their peers.

Blanco says the shootings at Columbine High School opened our eyes to the problems of bullying.  That has spurred a huge interest on the part of many school districts in problems aimed at stopping bullying.

Blanco gave advice to Northeast Iowa teachers on Tuesday about what they could do to help stop bullying.  But she also says parents are the key players in helping a kid recover from bullying.  Her advice is that parents drive their child to another town a distance away where the child isn't known--and enroll them in a Park-Rec program or other activity that the child likes that will give the child a chance for a new social life outside of school, with a new group of kids.

The news media has focused special attention on the problem of bullying of homosexual or lesbian kids.  Blanco, however, says it is a myth that the bullying is a result of their sexual orientation.  "It's the same reason for them as with others," she says.  She says some kids are bullied because of their sexual orientation, while some are not.  The difference is in the kid's ability to connect with their peers.  If they struggle to do that, their loneliness can sometimes even lead to suicide.  She concludes by saying, "For all those kids who are being bullied because of their sexual orientation, I ache for them and their families and encourage them to take a firm stance with their schools, and fight for their right to be treated with dignity."

Blanco says while bullying recently has been a hot topic in the news media, the amount of bullying has neither increased nor decreased.  She says what is different are the new ways that bullies can pick on other kids--especially through the Internet.  Blanco recommends that parents of children who are getting bullied go to www.socialshield.com, a service that helps protect kids when they are on the Internet.

More information about bullying is available at Blanco's website, www.jodeeblanco.com.